A hard look at myself (April 2002 )

My son Aaron lay in my bed last night, because the shooting was keeping him awake. I knew he wanted to know for sure that everything would be ok. He was struggling inside, and I thought it was fear, but I was wrong. After watching several news programs laying on my lap, he looked up and said, "Dad, is it wrong to steal if you are hungry?" "Yes", I told him, "It is always wrong to do the wrong thing. The reasons you do it don't make wrong things right." "But what if you really don't have food, and the other guy has alot of food? Is that fair?" "I don't know if it is fair, but that is not the point, son. When you steal,
you are saying that you have no choice, and that God cannot help you get what you need in a way that pleases Him!" "Oh, I see, you mean you could pray for God to get bread for you?" he replied. "Exactly son! You should always do what is right, and always be against what is wrong. God wants you to have what you need, and He said He would supply it, but we have to trust Him and follow Him."

Within minutes of this conversation I heard political pundits and media personalities that could not comprehend these principles. They were grappling with such "cloudy" issues as "are they freedom fighters" or "terrorists" if their cause is just. I was waiting for my nine year old son to grasp a truth principle that those who "inform" us cannot grasp. There is never a good reason to do wrong, ever. No cause (end) justifies the method (means).

We are knee deep in the battle out back, but I believe the situation will begin to stabilize in the next week. It seems the world is making the point that America must become involved, while the capitols of the world hold demonstrations against my homeland. It is easy to feel unloved as an American overseas at this point in time. The softness of September 12 is now wearing away, and the anger of the nations is returning.

The sins of many nations are exposed in a time of Global crisis, but so is the dark area within my own heart. I do not speak as a prophet who is separate from the sin, rather as a man who feels I must call upon God to forgive me for my foolish acceptance of the many things I have believed that are simply untrue. Mark Twain said it best: "We know alot of stuff that just ain't so!"

If this email is read apart from this beginning, some of you will think I have become tired and harsh. I want to be clear, we all share the sins of our nations, writer included. Nehemiah found it necessary to personally identify with the sins of his fathers to interceed for his nation (Neh.1:6-7). I offer these thoughts as a prelude to my own intercession, in hopes that God may tug some other hearts in these strategic and critical days for our world.

Because I grew up in America, and because I have a deep love for the nation that has provided my freedoms, I begin my inner journey there. My sins as an American are:

I BORE EASILY: In the US, we show ourselves to be a people who have an incredibly short attention span and a desire to understand everything in sound bites, without the desire to carefully and thoroughly check valuable sources. Is that unfair? Our churches are often a series of the "newest and hottest seminars" and today's startling truths will find themselves on tomorrow's discount rack as we move on to other significant and touching events and happenings. Today's formula for success and prosperity will be
sold half price when a new formula is devised. (I am being hard, but do consider what I am saying - where will the "Prayer of Jabez" books be in ten years!?!) Consider the amount of Christian airtime devoted to the "Coming of Y2K", does anyone remember which Christian leaders fed fear and yet cannot remember being involved? Fads come and go, even in my faith.

I AM OVER-INFORMED AND UNDER-EDUCATED: We are not careful about sifting information. In the last year I have received countless "virus warnings" on the computer by dear and loving friends that wanted me to be safe because of their warnings. On two occasions they instructed me to remove needed Windows files as the "hoax" virus warning told them to do. They got the information in an email and checked out nothing with readily available primary sources.

Another indication of the same lack of careful source searching occured three days ago, when the US State Department released a new statement on Americans in Israel. My inbox was filled with emails that expressed things like, "Now that the US is ordering all Americans to leave.." The unusual part of that statement is that this was not the substance of what the State Department said, and such a statement is not something they EVER say. My government never orders private citizens to leave another country, they simply move through a system of "alerts" that finally removes all Embassy protections for its citizens and leaves them on their own responsibility should they decide not to leave when warned thoroughly. For the record, what the US government did say is available at their website at www.state.gov ,
and reads as follows (excerpted):

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Israel, the West Bank and Gaza - Travel Warning
April 2, 2002

American Consulate General dependents in Jerusalem have been authorized to depart voluntarily as a result of the increase in terrorist attacks and escalation in violence there. This Travel Warning supersedes that of December 7, 2001.

The Department of State warns U.S. citizens to defer travel to Israel, the West Bank and Gaza. Ongoing violence has caused numerous civilian deaths and injuries, including to some American tourists. The potential for further terrorist acts remains high... In light of this development, Americans are urged to review their personal security situations and to take those actions they deem appropriate to ensure their well-being, including consideration of departure from these areas. Private Americans who are in Israel, the West Bank and Gaza despite this warning should follow the precautions detailed below and remain in close communication with the American Embassy in Tel Aviv and the American Consulate General in Jerusalem for more detailed information. American citizens residing in the West Bank, Gaza, and Jerusalem should consider relocating to a safe location...American citizens in Israel, the West Bank and Gaza should avoid locations such as restaurants and cafes, shopping areas and malls, pedestrian zones,public buses and bus stops or other crowded venues and the areas around them. American citizens should be particularly careful in Jerusalem, where frequent terrorist acts have occurred and the potential for terrorist bombings remains high.Americans should also avoid large crowds and demonstrations. Roads designed for Israeli settlers including those in East Jerusalem have been the site of frequent shooting attacks and roadside explosives, sometimes resulting in death or injury. U.S. Embassy and Consulate employees and their families have been prohibited from using public buses throughout Israel, the West Bank and Gaza...As a result of ongoing military activity in the West Bank
and Gaza, sections of those areas have been declared closed military zones and have been subject to intense shelling and firing. In some instances, Americans have been wounded and their property damaged. Because of the closures and fighting, provision of medical and humanitarian care has been severely delayed in those areas. In addition, dual Palestinian American citizens may encounter difficulties entering and/or departing the West Bank and Gaza during times of Israeli closures in those areas. All travelers who enter or travel in Gaza or the West Bank should expect delays and difficulties at checkpoints located throughout those areas, and should exercise particular care when approaching and traveling through checkpoints. Travelers should also be aware that passage through the checkpoints may be denied."
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THOUGH I DON'T KNOW, I THINK MY OPINIONS ARE INFORMED! Though we
historically don't check things out, we feel well informed about many things, and believe we can express intelligent opinions on issues we have not spent but a few minutes "checking out" from our "spoon-fed unbiased" sources (like CNN and CBS). I tend to want a quick fix to complex problems and evaluate everything on the basis of "Who is right?" and "Who is wrong?" Our pragmatic philosophy (If it works it must be good) forces us to quickly seek any solution that will return to us to our own stability, calm and low prices - without considering the larger and longer term ramifications. It is for this reason my record, as an American, on the longer term issues of the environment and world political involvement seems to the rest of the world to be out of step with reality. I do what benefits me, not my children, not my neighbors. I think in four year terms for re-elections, not in forty year terms for clean air. I admit openly that as a Bible believing Christian, I always treated the environment as a left tree-hugger issue. I thought
Europeans had their head in the trees on that issue.

As each year passes, I realize a bit more of the tremendous distance between my behavior and the call that God has on my life to seek after Him and walk according to His values. I see more biases and pride in my heart. I have had to learn to laugh more at my own foolishness and I deliberately keep close
to me friends with a gracious spirit and a great sense of humor.

What can I do to be better informed but not simply more biased? It is a difficult pursuit, but one worth working on, I have decided.

1. I need to keep a "truth grid" in front of me. Something is true if it compares accurately to what my Creator says in the manual on life. If a well developed idea tugs at my emotions, I check the compass of the Creator, not the crowd.

2. I need to avoid "satisficing", the term for accepting the first explanation that seems to make sense as the truth. When I watch a broadcast, I search through the 90% editorial opinion for the 10% substance. Let me give an example: Dan Rather reported the other night from a gloomy Jerusalem just hours after he was nearly hurt because of a suicide bomber that blew up a car in the checkpoint line where Rather's car had just passed. He reported that Jerusalem was tense and deserted, and the "air of war" was everywhere. What he did not say was that it was cold, rainy, nasty and a Holiday. People weren't on the streets because they didn't have to go to work, and parks were empty because it was very cold and damp! How do I know? Because today, Friday, April 4, the war goes on but the downtown is full and the outside is sunny. Parks have people, the businesses are open for the half day before Sabbath begins. Jerusalemites have been through difficult times before, they (Arabs and Jews) are hearty people, and they will make it through this trauma as they have the many others before.

3. I need to ask more questions, and give fewer opinions. Because I am part of the wealthiest and most materially successful people on the planet, does not mean that I have a superior intellect or more valuable tradition. There are other ways of looking at an event, and I need to be open to holding fast
to my moral values, but being open to another approach to practical problem solving. I cannot project my values and ways of looking at things on the other people involved. Tribal people, for instance, view things through another lens. They see my "individualism" as offensive and self-absorbed. Understanding takes time and presumes a caring and teachable spirit.

4. I need to be open to the idea that the criticisms other countries and people have about my beloved country may have some validity. I also shouldn't let that criticism rock my view of the better side of my
Americanism. I know in my heart that my homeland has some of the most caring and truly generous people in the world. I know the average American would give a meal to a hungry person, and they have strong impulses to care and do right. People around the globe do not understand us either. I need to hold fast to what is best in my people, while looking carefully at criticism to see if there is truth inside it. I need their criticism, it helps me grow.

5. I need to be careful not to pass on "truth" that I have not checked out. How guilty I have been of this so many times. I cannot get my emotions stirred by an event or person and then crusade forth with the enlightened word for the masses. I need to reflect and ponder more and speak a bit less.
Hard for a person with the "Peter" gift set, but it is the truth.

6. I need to be motivated by a heart that cares for the other people, not simply my own comforts and way of life. I need to genuinely become a member of the planet and its problems by carefully gathering information, and by interceding in prayer. It is part of the call of the Christian to care about others enough to show love to them. I can take a meal next door to an olde person tonight, and so fulfill the law of my Master.

Lord, forgive me for knowing so much, but checking out so little. Forgive me for a proud heart that considers myself first! Help me not to become so "weary in well doing" that I bore of truth! Supply the energy I need to filter out the noise from your gentle and steady voice. Remind me daily, in the midst of the strife and despair around me that light is essentially different in substance than darkness. Give me the inner hopefulness and optimism that comes when I trust You to do all things well. Forgive me and
renew my heart!

Blessings to all of you!
Randy